Some random musings on the past few weeks…
Just when you thought it was safe to order beer and chicken again…
Spring Training is right around the corner, which means we in the New England baseball community get to brace ourselves for the inevitable tidal wave of unfounded hysteria and stupidity that is about to flow from the fingertips of the Boston sports media ‘brain trust’ as anticipation builds towards the start of the 2012 season.
It’s the time of year when Dan Shaughnessy aggressively fudges facts to fit corny and clichéd narratives… When Nick Cafardo gets his Ralph Wiggam on… And one of my emerging favorites – that time of year when we wonder if Sean McAdam talks to his wife in that tone of voice that never seems to change no matter whom or where he so happens to be talking.
Of course, never to be out-boxed in the arena of selective analysis, Tony Massarotti is getting a head start on everyone this year. His first target is unsurprisingly Josh Beckett as was indicated this week in a spectacularly dishonest column that will surely qualify for my “Dumb Journalists Are the Reason No One Reads Newspapers Anymore… See? Check this shit out!” award of the year.
After saying absolutely nothing new in five paragraphs, Massarotti dropped his trousers, grabbed his ankles and unleashed this mighty fart into the air:
“In his final eight starts of 2011, Beckett posted a 5.06 ERA. In his final two outings – against the Baltimore Orioles – Beckett allowed 12 runs and four homers in 13.1 innings. Truth be told, Beckett’s performance was not much worse than most anyone else who pitched for the Red Sox down the stretch, though there is one obvious difference between Beckett and everyone else.”
Talk about cherry picking stats to shoehorn an argument into a pre-packaged story… especially when you consider:
- If you expand Tony’s sample size to his last 9 games: 4.66 ERA, almost a full half point lower
- If you decrease it to the last 7 games: 4.60 ERA, not good, but again – more than a half a point lower
- Of course, the poor Seattle games has to be the starting point of the sample size, because – of course – that wouldn’t fit the story. This isn’t Choose Your Own Adventure after all.
- His peripheral stats were pretty good – at least good enough to give his team a good chance to win in several of the games he pitched in.
It should go without saying that he’d conveniently gloss over the good stuff that Beckett was responsible for, including his increased K/9 rate, the quality of his opponents over that stretch, the ankle injury he never used as an excuse.
When you actually look at the sample, all of his numbers are inflated as a result of the last two games in Baltimore. Without those two games factored in, Beckett looks like a totally different pitcher. The numbers don’t lie:
- From 8/18-9/16: a 3.08 ERA (7-game sample)
- From 8/13-9/16: a 3.58 ERA (9 game sample)
And of course, we’re all still waiting to hear the story on the cumulative effects on chicken wing consumption over the course of a season that apparently didn’t affect Beckett at all in August but miraculously did in September.
Still, there’s a story waiting to be written about why Beckett sucked so hard in his last two starts just waiting to be written, but….
STICK TO THE SCRIPT~!
What’s worse – is that while his selective stat-picking was the worst part of his column, it wasn’t close to being the weirdest part. That would be his re-telling the tale of the Josh Beckett of days gone by. Massarotti recounts the days when good ole Joshy wrote a $5,000 check to a Red Sox employee who was in desperate financial straights and then directed teammates to do the same. He goes onto cite his past leadership, work ethic and the usual litany of things that give Boston Sports Scribes that fuzzy feeling in their pants.
But of course, now that he ate chicken and had two bad games –he’s an insufferable douchebag. Just like that. It’s not just that Josh Beckett pitched two bad games. Now it’s that he’s a bad person.
Give to charity. Help people in need. Pitch well for 90% of a season. Just don’t cost Tony the opportunity to grace us with his worldly baseball knowledge in front of national television cameras in October. Do that- and you’re meat. Not just as a pitcher, but as a person. All in all – a pretty unbelievable precedent to set.
It’s made all the more ironic considering the lecture in being humble is coming from a guy who’s stylized his last name to rhyme with a certain Red Sox Hall of Famer. You really couldn’t make it up if you tried.
I keep hearing the drum-line coming out of imploding newsrooms all over the country that we should read them over blogs and other new-media sources because they adhere to ‘standards’ and ‘responsibility’.
The thing is, that’s kind of a hard sell when your journalists hen-peck stats and omit facts when it’s convenient to do so in the name of reinforcing a cooked up narrative for the sake of clicks or getting themselves in front of a TV camera. Just saying
David Ortiz and the Red Sox agree on a deal
Well, sort of. More like ‘settled’. A lot of people were balking at the $14 million he got, but I don’t have a problem with it. It’s better than making a multi-year commitment. Ultimately, of all the pieces the Red Sox stood to lose this season, Ortiz’s bat would have likely been the most impactful. Not only are you losing his production but the opportunity cost to replace said production would have been much higher relative to other areas of the roster.
Essentially, for $1.5 million more, the Red Sox kept the most productive guy at his position in baseball. We can debate the merits of the DH in general (and truth be told, you wouldn’t get much in the way of blowback from me), but please find me another .300/.398/.554, 4-fWAR hitter who’d have run you $14 million either in money or a trade for prospects. He’s not a ‘value’, but there’s pretty clear justification for bringing him back at that price.
His 3-4 wins on what was a ‘90-win but could be more next year’ team brings increased value if you’re looking at the win-curve. Wins 88-92 are a lot more valuable than wins 93-100 and 84-88. Considering his true worth is around $10-12 million anyway, the extra $2 million doesn’t seem too bad considering that the cost of wins 88-92 is around $3 million a pop in revenue. They’ll make that money back no problem. The fact that they didn’t plop another year down on the deal makes it better.
When coupled with his revenue-generating marquee value and the low-risk nature of the deal, it’s a no brainer for the Red Sox.
Enough about Roy Oswalt.
Does anyone remember that shitty 80’s movie “The Wizard”? The one where Fred Savage, some chick who probably moonlighted on the Mickey Mouse Club and his little brother Jimmy headed west for CALIFORNIA~! and trip over pile after pile of Nintendo paraphernalia along the way? The same movie where the payoff was basically a shoehorned 2-minute preview of Super Mario 3 and a bunch of fucking around in oversized plastic dinosaurs?
Yeah, you Oswalt wanters are Little Jimmy.
Truth be told, I’m ready to go to war with what we have…